Last month my family and I had the opportunity to visit the home of some good friends (I’ll refer to them as the “Smiths” hereafter). What started as a friendly conversation quickly degraded into a spirited debate on education vs. compulsory schooling. Our family shares a great deal of respect for the Smiths, and we see eye-to-eye on quite a few topics, but one topic on which we have long differed is that of education. While the Smiths are far from evangelists touting the virtues of a public compulsory school system (one which is clearly failing to satisfy society’s needs let alone meet the minimum criteria of what constitutes a successful education) they do have a healthy appetite for the “fringe benefits” of the public system and the value it brings students and families when compared against the absence of such a system.
And therein lies the chief problem: this wonderful family, a family which has produced amazing children and has had a great impact in society, has also fallen prey to one of the biggest droughts plaguing society today — the drought of imagination. Now I can’t prove what I believe, namely that the Smiths are merely suffering the deadening effects of a system that has waged war on one of our strongest differentiators from other, more brute beasts in the world. But I can say with 100% veracity that the Smiths are in nowise the minority in their lack of ability to imagine a world where compulsion is not the key ingredient in the concoction that is today more commonly sold under the label of “A Child’s Schooling.”
My personal beliefs – reinforced by the Christian values to which I subscribe – induce me to declare war against compulsion. I’m no stranger to the subject, either. I was raised in a world that was pretty much the epitome of the classical compulsive system. I attended church and school where my non-standard questions were an unwelcome interruption to the ultra-standard curriculum. I lived in a home where I was expected to behave as my parents imagined a good young boy should behave. I even consumed much of my entertainment according to someone else’s prescribed pattern. Everywhere I went, people were (sometimes passively but usually actively) telling me what I should say, how I should think, where I should go, and what I should do. Honestly, it would be better described as telling me what not to say, think, or do. Apparently, I wasn’t a very “good” boy. 😉
Now, I don’t want to sound like I’m merely blaming the world for my woes. In fact, I am the first to admit that I’m as guilty as the rest of us in many ways, bestowing the burden of compulsion upon my own children, friends, acquaintances, and even myself. I, too, suffer from a lack of imagination, if only to a lesser degree. I’m not fighting the war against compulsion out of sense of superiority. I do it precisely because I recognize my own inferiority against this principle which I so despise. As is the case when overcoming any great challenge, I’ve found myself investing a great deal of time pursuing an education on the matter. It has begun with a sizable investment of my conscious thought and observation into the matter of education and compulsion over the past decade or more. I’ve also done a bit of “light reading” on the matter, and will no doubt be sharing those resources here as time goes on.
The debate that accompanied our visit to the Smith’s home last month was stirring for me. So stirring, in fact, that I decided to write a letter to them in an attempt express the many things that were not communicated (or were communicated poorly) that evening. I realized there were some key principles at the foundation of my views that weren’t even discussed. I can see how, in lieu of these basic building blocks, confusion and skepticism might abound. And so it was that I decided to write a letter to the Smiths in an attempt to clearly outline the foundation of my views. If this is indeed a true, universal principle, adherence to it will no doubt vary from individual to individual, family to family, and society to society. However, one important distinction will exist: we will cease liberal peppering of force and compulsion in the rearing and tutelage of our young minds.
I publish this letter here today because it has become clear to me over the last month that this is more than a simple communique to the Smith family. This is, more or less, my manifesto on the principle of the agency of man. This “manifesto” is certainly far from exhaustive. However, I post it here with the hope that I will either be proven irrefutably wrong in my faulty beliefs, or so the discussion can flourish and develop into real change. Either way, I want to know whether the arguments in this document are efficacious, or merely fallacy.
The conversations I’ve already shared with those who have read this have been amazing, and extremely enlightening. So I invite you to read this, pass it along, add to it, comment on it, and let me know if it has had any impact in your life, good or bad. I have felt for some time that this is a conversation we need to have in this crazy world, especially today.
Please find the PDF below:
This is a great essay. My kids have been gracious enough to allow me the time to read it today, despite how very looooong it is;) jk! Great points.
Thoughts that came to mind as I read this.
– I don’t know how many of us knew of a kid or had a friend who committed suicide at a young age, but I did. He was the captain of the football team and had perfect grades. He was THE most popular kid in school and he committed suicide at age 13. I think he said the pressure was too great. So yes, achievement is not enough, to be better than is not enough.
– I love that you showed that Christ never compelled people to listen or understand. That he left that to the creative mind who sought out the answer. Love that.
– Even in homeschooling God never told me to homeschool but rather put the thought in my heart day after day to research it until the the day I decided to do it.
– You mentioned that God is still teaching the Jews, that he has engaged with them a long term lesson to be learned and has given them the agency to figure it out at some point. In life we are too quick to want our kids to give us the answer, tell us what they learn and so forth. I had a moment with another mother the other day when our kids did something wrong together. She was quick to get upset with them. She complimented me on being so patient. I’m not always this way, but I try to be. Instead of telling them everything they did wrong and what they should learn from that I try and feel out, with the spirit and prayer what is the best way to teach this lesson.
In another instance, our Stake President shared a story. A kindergartener was to be Santa in his class play. His mom stayed up all night laboring on his suit. The next day she laid down for a nap and overslept. When she got to school he would not forgive her for forgetting to bring the suit. Years later he ran for Senior President. His mother was there to hear the announcement. But where was he? His name was called and he was not present. In an instant she knew where she would find him. He had gone home to rest and had fallen asleep, missing the announcement. It took 13 years to learn that lesson of forgiveness. God is patient.
– I believe in Jesus the Christ he talks about how Christ was probably taught like the rest of society. By his parents, mentors and community. But I love that emphasize that he was taught by the Spirit. This is by far the most important element in learning, is it not?
– When ever I am encumbered by the pressure of finding a curriculum the spirit always reminds me that that is not the important part of homeschooling, that I should instead focus my efforts on helping my children gain a testimony of Christ. That I am raising them for Him and not the world. Not that they are sheltered and removed from the world, but that in our home that has to be the most important thing above all other learning. And that the learning about the things of the world will come naturally and with a proper balance if we put Christ and living the gospel first. And I have seen it bless our lives. Of course I could do better, but it is a learning process:)
– The gospel is definitely not compulsory. Not even church should be. We have always had a hard time with Indy and church. He has never connected to his peers, always gravitating to the older boys or his best friend with autism. Even before kids entered school and all started attending sunbeams he didn’t want to go. So it is not due to his home school experience. It wan’t until he had a teacher that gave him responsibilities in class and treated him as an equal and not a student that he enjoyed primary. My point is this. Lately he has not wanted to go again because he doesn’t like his teachers. We are working on helping him love others even if he doesn’t “like” them but that is another topic. Instead of forcing him to go to “his” class and despise church all together, we have opted to take him to my primary class with 11 year olds or the adult Sunday school class. In each case he has come home telling us the moments when he felt the spirit, to him that is what he “learned.” Before now when I asked him what he learned in class he would shrug and indifferently tell me he doesn’t remember. The primary president called the other day concerned that he hasn’t been going to class. I am grateful she didn’t insist that he return out of “this is just the system and he has to get used to it” but instead agreed that it is best that he is learning and enjoying rather than hating the experience. She has been praying about him and has felt there is a way to get him back to class but is willing to let the Lord do it in His own timing. I am so grateful for that.
– The quote from Marianne Williamson is awesome. I try and live by that principle every day. Just the other day 2 of my friends confessed that after spending time with me they feel so creative and alive that they just want to go and create because of the things I am creating. I believe that light inspires light.
– And lastly, in recent weeks I have taken on new endeavors that I have never believed I could or would do. But guided by my passions and desires to do good with what God has given me and taught me I have done them. In a moment of weakness I was caught off guard by the adversary telling me I wasn’t educated enough to do what I was setting out to do because I didn’t have a degree. For a moment I was broken. It wasn’t until God spoke peace to my mind, saying, “Experience has taught you what education never could have,” that I was made whole again and my courage to pursue my dreams was again instilled in my soul. I remind myself of that every day.
– There are so many points and arguments of my own that I hold for why I believe in the path we have chosen to homeschool. But I will leave my comments for another time. Your essay is wonderful and well though out. There is a reason we have chosen to do this and we should stand for what we believe. Thank you for taking the time to write out your beliefs. It takes courage.